I had—and have—what doctors call ADHD, and when I was little I would jump chair to chair in my classroom. Once I wrapped myself in tape like a mummy. And I would occasionally make animal sounds at the teacher and pretend like I didn’t know who did it. I was a clown. Soon it would be nap time and I would catch my ZZZs.
I remember waking up to the glare of the sun through the window. Time for lunch and recess on the concrete court! There was a shed back there where kids would hide and completely disappear! It was my lucky day; no one watched as I went back there.
As only a five year-old would do, I dropped my pants to the ground, lifted my shirt, stuck my finger into my belly button and let out a yellow river.
My teacher peeked around the corner and was the first witness to my little makeshift restroom. He told me to cover myself and escorted me to a chair inside another teacher’s room while everyone went to the gym to play on scooters.
“What were you thinking?!” my teacher screeched.
“I- I- I don’t really know,” I replied with a crack in my voice.
“Well, do you have anything going on at home you’d like to talk about?”
“We’re going to call your mother.”
Ring. Ring. He didn’t know my mother was in prison. He put the phone on speaker. Ring.
“Hello?” My sister asked.
“I am Khali Crowl’s teacher and I wanted to let you know the trouble he has caused today.”
“Oh god, what?”
“Well, it’s not the usual.”
“I’ll be there,” my sister said. My heart dropped.
“Dude! Dude! Come on! Why did you have to do that?” I screamed, anticipating the beating I’d receive at home.
“My name is not dude.”
Later I got picked up and went home. That night I had a nightmare involving sheds and Marvel underwear and realized I never should have wrapped myself in tape like a mummy way back when. Some scenarios are awkward for everyone.
Khali Crowl is a high school student born and raised in Seattle. More than your stereotypical rap artist or poet, he composes and edits movies, wrestles full time, and considers himself one step below a prodigy. He thinks his girlfriend is beautiful—she exceeds aesthetic perfection.