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2015-04-15 13.39.23
Last night I wasn’t sure if I’d have work today, so I was happy to see your absence in the online substitute register. I couldn’t find the lesson plan anywhere, so your students played volleyball and basketball.

In first period, a girl with dishwater hair didn’t care to serve, but when she reached back and went for a basic underhand the ball cleared the net, reminding me that serving a volleyball is no small thing, especially with onlookers, and that some days it’s best to take the form that gets results.

Your students in second period told me you’ve been recovering from back surgery, and that they knocked out their first sub. “What?” I asked. “Knocked out?” The kid got suspended, they explained, for hitting the substitute lady in the head with a volleyball, and the other two kids who aimed but missed stuck around and got into new kinds of mischief, like rolling free weights down the stairs. That’s why second period now walks laps instead of playing games, they said.

Such transparency! Since none of that happened under my watch, I’m calling second period successful, and everything in third period was fine too.

During lunch I ate peanuts in the athletic office and thought about the speeches I’d give if I could for one moment be as cool as Coach Taylor on “Friday Night Lights.” You’ve got some great posters here.

Fourth period was the only class to put themselves in gender segregated teams. One girl preferred playing volleyball with the guys, and one guy preferred playing with the girls. No one commented.

At the end of fifth, a kid found a wallet with $27 inside. “It’s so cool you turned this in,” I said. “No worries,” he said. “On all levels but physical I am a wolf.”

Most days as a sub, students ask the same questions, and I give the same answers. What’s for lunch? Cheesy pizza sticks. What are we doing today? Study hall apparently. Your P.E. students didn’t care about those things. They had tons of energy, and their across-the-board honesty made today unique.

Thanks again for being hurt. Hopefully it wasn’t the children. The bright side is you can take your time because I’ll be around for a few days.

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